Big Things

“You are going to be a Pastor and you are going to do big things.”

I was 17 years old and this is what I heard the Lord speak to my heart when I received my call to be a pastor. My arrogant 17-year-old brain immediately went to the biggest and “best” setting I could imagine. There was a lot that God had to teach me. It took about 12 years for God to beat the pride out of me to get me to a place where I was a pastor. 

I was in vocational ministry at a couple churches as a pastor for just about 10 years. And now I am the founder of a nonprofit ministry where we call, connect, and care for the next generation of missionaries to the areas of the world where the gospel has never been heard.

There are three things that are running around in my brain right now. Ambition, being led by God vs attempting to lead God, and striving vs. achieving. 

Each of these three work together nicely. I think they are all related. And I would like to take some time examining scripture and musing on how these three thoughts have been working themselves out in my own life over the years. 

Since my trip to Southeast Asia my vision for Generation Echo has expanded. I have developed a plan to build a global branch to the ministry. The global branch will partner with ministries run by nationals in the areas around the world that are most difficult to enter into. The dream is to take what I did on my trip and duplicate it all over the world, in various countries and regions. The domestic branch will continue to operate as it has over the last year with the added element of giving churches or individuals the opportunity to adopt ministries around the world to support the vision God has placed on the locals for their nation, region, or city. I can’t do this on my own. This ambition requires Gen Echo to expand in several areas: staffing, partners, and finances to name a few.

---

Here is the question that has been gnawing at me:

Is this obedience or is this branding?

Am I just wanting Gen Echo to be a global powerhouse on par with Compassion International or Samaritan’s Purse because that feels significant… or is this really what the Lord is doing with the organization?

There was a time in my life where I kept having an internal desire for a position at the place that I was working. It wasn’t just any position, it was the big dog position. There were a good few months that every time I would go to work I would think about it. Fantasize about what it would be like to be in that role. Dream about what I would do with that authority. I cared much more about being seen in the role than serving in the role.

That feels different… right?

Growing up my mom would always say not to judge others’ motives because we barely have a grasp on our own. That feels appropriate for what we are talking about today. Maybe a big reason why I feel this tension is because I have seen other people with great ambition and judged that ambition. And I’m worried people are judging me from afar with the same heart. Dang. That is probably a conversation for another day. 

---

The answer that I fall back to as a kneejerk reaction is how natural the progression of the ministry has been. Things keep happening and I am just rolling with what is already going on. But are they happening naturally because the Lord is leading or because this is the natural outcome of someone who has taken the steps that I have taken to lead this ministry?

If doors keep opening, does that mean God is leading?

Or have I just become really good at opening doors?

Is God leading me in this or am I attempting to lead God to where I want to go?

---

It is easy for me to have vision. It’s easy for me to dream. It is easy to come home from a trip with a full heart and full mind and then make choices to move in directions based on the momentum you feel and the excitement running through your veins. 

What is harder is sitting and waiting for that still small voice when you feel all the excitement. It’s harder to pray for months at a time as you are trying to get a global ministry off the ground. Because action is what will bring the people. Action will bring the donors. Action will produce fruit. 

Action will produce fruit.

That is kind of true. And it is also kind of a lie from the pit of hell.

Mark 4:26-29

He also said, “This is what the kingdom of God is like. A man scatters seed on the ground. Night and day, whether he sleeps or gets up, the seed sprouts and grows, though he does not know how. All by itself the soil produces grain—first the stalk, then the head, then the full kernel in the head. As soon as the grain is ripe, he puts the sickle to it, because the harvest has come.” 

There is action. The man scatters the seed and then he harvests when it is time. If the man never scattered the seed there would be no harvest. And if the man never put the sickle to the crop then the fruit would be wasted. But nowhere do we see that the action produced the fruit. The fruit is brought about as the Lord wills for our good and for His glory. 

As I grow older I am finding gaps between the way I practically live for Jesus and the way that I understand and interpret scripture. 

Biblically speaking we know that if we redirect our ambition towards God’s pleasure, if we sit in the tension of stillness and action, and if we understand our role in the grand scheme of things, then we are operating from a place of holiness and operating along with the Jesus way. 

But in real life its hard to know. It’s even harder to know how to end this blog. There is no bow for it. I don’t have the answer. And I really don’t want to look like a leader who is doubting my vision. 

Would you pray with me to end this? This is my prayer for me. Maybe it will be an appropriate prayer for you. Maybe not. Either way, would you mind also praying this prayer for me as I try to figure it out?

 

Jesus, would you purify my motivations. Let my ambition be from you and for you. Thank you for the work you have entrusted me to. Lord, if there are elements of selfishness and discontent in my heart would you remove it. Fill it with your desires for my life. Amen.